Why, Hello there. How are you? I’m swell, thanks for asking. Just thought I would pop in and let you know that I have not completely forgotten about what I said I was going to do. Rest assured, I am not sitting around watching the weeds grow, though grow they do.
What I have been up to is forgetting to look at the calendar for the week ahead before committing to something that would require me to blog every day. Seems I am something going on every day, which makes the days so much fuller and energy draining.
That is right, I too am human and sometimes forget something as simple as looking at a calendar.
What this does not mean is that I have not started on my Mega Project, which actually is a smaller part of the large home project we have been working on for more than a year. We are at a point where the new drywall needs to be painted. Painting I can do. It just takes a bit of time. Time is one thing we do not want it to take, as winter will be here soon and we are wanting the electrical and HVAC to be in soon.
In my head, I would spend a few hours at night painting and have it all done in … a week. Our garage is about 24′ x 24′, the room above it the same size, plus the ceilings in both rooms. And the two stair ways. And the (old) upstair’s ceiling and calls.
Yes, you may laugh. I can take it.
Sunday I cleaned out the garage, and wiped down the ceiling and 90% of the walls. I came away looking much grayer than I really am, but it was a preview of where my hair color will be heading soon if we keep having days like today.
Need an example? Think, not being able to handle the mixed emotions of saying Goodbye to a friend you do not see very often, while at the same time being tired but not able to slow your brain down enough to rest. So you decide to climb on the hood of the car instead of getting in to leave to come home. Then, when your mom gets out to make it clear it is time to go, you run in circles around said car while your Mom starts to get really frustrated at you. Once home, you throw your eraser down the air register because you do not want to do school work, then demand your mom get it back out. This all makes perfect sense to do if you have trouble handling your emotions and self control.
I would never have considered doing this when I was a kid, I would cry if someone raised their voice to me even a bit. It has taken me a long time to even begin to understand this behavior in my kids. Now that I am beginning to understand it, I can see it in their lives from the day they came to live with us. And it is not me just going crazy, though that seems to be happening over time. 🙂
This was my day today. All day. By 6:30 p.m. my husband called it bedtime. Wise person that he is, he knew this was a better decision than sitting on the couch with Jack and George to finish Jack’s read alouds (for school) before going to bed at 7 p.m.
Jack was asleep almost immediately and George asked to go to his bed (he was laying down in our room) at 7. I am not sure he lasted 5 minutes before going to the Land of Nod.
I started to write a post, then opted to sit by my husband and watch a movie. When that was finished I looked up some books on Amazon, then felt calm and collected enough to start writing a post again. Being kind to yourself is important at times like this, but often something I forget to do.
I met up with a friend at the produce auction today; it was only the second or third time I have gone this year. I was hoping for some time visiting while Jack played in a neighboring field with a new toy he had. Instead, he could not seem to accept the fact that I needed/wanted to pay attention to anyone/anything else besides him, and actually would not go that far away from me. He tried several tactics to make sure I knew that he really did not like what I was doing. It could have been worse, I guess. At least he was not playing behind cars? He is getting better at listening, slowly. Once, when I told him not to run, it only took him about 4 steps to stop running and 3 more to stop skipping … but then … well, let’s focus on the positive, shall we? He helped two people load things into their cars and received tips. He was so excited by the few dollars he earned. I can see him becoming the local lawn mowing and snow shoveling kid in a few years.
Something I did get accomplished today, I hope, was finding an oral surgeon that takes George’s insurance card. Up till now I have heard stories about how hard it is to find doctor’s that take the state’s Medicaid insurance, but I had never really run into it. At least, not to this extent. With an OT we use for one of the kids, it took us calling a second OT office before finding one that took their insurance. Same for the new optometrist, though they stopped taking it a few months ago.
Seems the oral surgeon at George’s dentist office retired. The one in the neighboring county is only open to residents in that county. The 5 others in our area whom I called do not take his insurance. One office did give me a head’s up about an office in our neighboring state with whom they have worked before. I gave them a call too. Seems the nearest one in our neighboring state, who does take our state’s Medicaid insurance, does not have an oral surgeon or anesthesiologist in their office. However, this particular dentists office does have another branch in another town a few hours away which may have an oral surgeon. I am waiting for a call back tomorrow to see if we can set up a time. In order to avoid having to pay $1200 out of pocket, I am willing to drive a few hours to find someone who takes George’s insurance. Besides, we have some friends who live there so we can make it a dual-purpose trip.
So, where does that leave me with the 21 Day Challenge? I am still working toward it, even if I have not posted the first post. It seems the cup of regular (caffeinated) coffee that I have been working on all day has finally kicked in, as have the pain meds. I have some muscle pain that was only made worse by sitting down at the computer. It is amazing how much more you can accomplish when you are no longer in pain nor having a kid (seemingly) do everything in their power to annoy you so you will give them attention.
The 21 Days To A More Disciplined Life will start a few days later than I had planned. What a great reminder as to why I really feel the need for this challenge again.
Even knowing that I will be working through the book has motivated me in a few areas to stop slacking off. I have been using the chaos created by our home renovation as an excuse to slack off in several areas of life. While some of these were justified or due to a change in how we carried out the actions of a routine, others were due to my lack of discipline to keep up with some of the habits I had in place.
Tomorrow Jack has a class in the morning, then home to do some of the multitude of minor things requiring my attention. By Thursday I think I will be ready to jump into Crystal’s book and actually focus on changing some bad habits and tackling the Mega Project with gusto.
There was one day a few weeks ago, where every thing went perfect during the day, kid wise. So perfect in fact that I almost literally pinched myself to make sure I was not dreaming. Then realized if I was, I would not want to wake up just yet.
We made it through the whole day with NO arguing, NO frustration, NO whining, NO having to give myself a break due to my patience being tested, NO breaks given to little boys who think they are the parent, NO breaks given to little boys who think their needs supersede those of everyone else on this planet, NO slamming of doors or throwing of toys, NO having to take little boys from the house not fully dressed because time really does not stop just because you don’t feel like doing your morning routine and want to do (insert non-productive action) instead.
Everything was finished with smiles and laughter and excitement. Even the act of getting dressed did not cause attitudes of defiance to appear. It was early afternoon when I turned to said little boy and told him how much I had enjoyed spending the day with him, how he had made my day so much easier and what a delight it was. It was at this point that I realized this must be what it is like to have non-traumatized kids.
Then the day turned to evening and we added in another boy who was having trouble staying regulated in his emotions and things went back to normal.
That might sound a bit depressing, and it was at first. However, about 10 seconds later I realized that if we had one day where this happened, then it is possible to have it happen again.
This is what we are working towards. If you happen to think of us,we would appreciate your prayers for this area of our lives.