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Looking back at the list, waaay back at the start, you will notice I did not disregard everything on my “this is what life should look like right now” list. There are still thing I can do where I am and with the reality I have in front of me right now.
I can work on growing in knowledge.
I can have bees in an urban setting.
I can use solar power in various smaller settings.
I can go for walks in the neighborhood.
I can send my kids outside to play.
Once I got past what I could not do, i.e. stopped whining to myself, I began focusing on what was at the core of my desires and how it could be implemented where we actually were. I began to feel less confined by my circumstances and more free to find solutions.
When I mentioned to George, who was watching the movie ‘Alaska‘, that I used to want to be a bush pilot, he looked at me with a serious expression and asked, “Why didn’t you?” It was a great opportunity to point out to him that life only contains so much time.
“If I had pursued that desire, I would have had to give up so many others. While it would have been fun, it was not what I was meant to do.”
And that, my friends, is when I realized all my contemplating and searching had finally come full circle and I was ready to move forward once again.