Our days do not have a steady pattern to them. It is more of a loose fitting routine that this Mama would like to be more structured and dependable. However, we are imperfect humans who have to live life together. Sometimes life gets in the way. Other times we get in the way. We do our best to reach the end of the day ahead of where we first began. Sometimes it happens beautifully. Other times, well, it would have been best to just stay in bed.
A (new) friend of mine recently mentioned that it seemed as if I had it all together. Once I was done laughing, I assured her I did not and shared a bit of our not so perfect days.
This made me wonder how our life comes across here, in Internet Land. I can post pretty pictures, descriptions of our latest craft or outing, complete menu plans and large plans for the garden. I could share all the niceties and leave out all the ‘ugly’, but that would be dishonest. No one’s life is like that.
So, if you are feeling like a failure, like everyone else has it together, I hope you can take some encouragement from this – no one has it all together, everyone has their struggles.
Or, maybe you are having a great day and just need a laugh. Go for it. Looking bad I would love to laugh at all the mistakes I made these past few days. Give me a few weeks and I just may.
If you were a fly on the wall in our house Tuesday, here is what you would have seen.
5:30 a.m. – my alarm went off.
5:50 a.m. – I finally gout of of bed, got dressed and headed outside to do some yard work.
6:30 a.m. – I came back into the house, found George awake standing in the kitchen (probably wondering why I was not there making breakfast.) I sent him back to his room to get dressed and make his bed.
6:40 a.m. – George came back, ready to help make muffins for breakfast. Jack appeared in the kitchen, having just woken up. When he heard what we were doing, and that he could also help, he headed to his room on his own to get dressed.
7:00 a.m. – The dishes from the night before had been put away, the muffin batter was made and resting. Each boy got a banana and we headed to get started on our Summer Bridge workbooks.
7:30 a.m. – Workbooks are done. The boys take a few minutes break while I print off some worksheets for our new math book.
7:40 a.m. – I then introduced our new math book, one that is more inline with Charlotte Mason’s living book philosophy. It was a hit and the boys had fun doing the new worksheets. (It included a hunt through the house for numbers!)
8:40 a.m. – The kids played in the garage while I finished up drinks for breakfast, then we will sit down to eat.
10:00 a.m. – We finished breakfast, watched YouTube video, brushed teeth and headed outside. (There was a bit of discipline training that took place, but it was corrected in about 10 minutes, rather than 2 hours.)
10:15 a.m. – Thinking ahead to the afternoon, I invited a mom and her son to join us in playing at the park in the afternoon. Turns out they were able to join us for the morning, too.
12:10 p.m. – Lunch time.
1:00 p.m. – Quiet time, even with a friend visiting. Every boy got some books and found a spot to sit/lay, while the dishes were cleaned.
2:00 p.m. – Paid bill that was due yesterday. 🙁 This is something I almost never do, so I was upset with myself when I realized I had missed the “Due by” date.
2:15 p.m. – We all headed to the park with bikes and scooters.
3:40 p.m. – We left the park to walk home, then drove our friends to their house. It is quite a walk and her son was tired, but don’t tell him that. 🙂
4:10 p.m. – I turned a movie on for very tired kids. Talked with husband and cleaned up a few things.
5:00 p.m. – I begin cooking supper.
5:40 p.m. – Received a phone call to schedule appointment, so supper was delayed a few more minutes.
5:44 p.m. – Supper is served. This took a bit longer to make, due to being a newer recipe.
6:10 p.m. – The boys and I began their bed time routines – brush teeth, put on PJs, turn on classical music.
6:20 – 7:10 pm. – The boys head to bed at their appointed times. Dad goes in to talk with the first one to head to bed, then spends time with the remaining one.
7:15 p.m. – I contemplate more yard work, but choose to sit by my husband and watch a movie for a few more minutes.
8:00 p.m. – With the sun still up, one part of summer I like, I head outside to get a bit more yard work finished before tomorrow. I am hoping to have some wood chips then and want to be ready in case it turns out that way.
9:00 p.m. – Pick up the yard and head inside. I clean up, warm up a cup of coffee from earlier (decaf, no worries) and sit down to finish watching a movie with my husband.
9:30 p.m. – bed time, expect I fell asleep on the couch. 🙂 It was a long day.
The shade garden in the front yard it coming together one slow step at a time. I have a goal in mind that I am working towards and know I will get there, one evening at a time.
After such a good day on Tuesday, I was sure we were getting into the groove of things and so had high hopes for Wednesday. 🙂 Yeah, it didn’t turn out so well. I’ll give you a feel for the the day went and leave it at that.
The boys both decided they needed a restroom break at 3:30 a.m., then proceeded to talk together, getting louder and louder. I separated them, putting one into our room
At 6:00 a.m. they both decided they were no longer tired and wanted to get up. I felt as if I had not slept all night and told them both to go back to bed. Whining and loud opposition ensued.
They did not want to get dressed, I was cranky, ignoring of house rules seemed to be the theme of the day, and I just did not have the energy to deal with it. “Don’t they realize I’m exhausted? Why can’t they have a little compassion and play quietly?”
I lost my
calm temper endless patience and separated them into different rooms … they stood in the doorway of said rooms and played, yelling at each other so they could hear (because that is what you do when you are two feet away from each other). I was determined (stubborn) to not reward the behavior with t.v. so it did not get turned on. (That was mistake #50 of the day.)
No school work was accomplished, no beds were made, no crafts were done, very little housework was achieved, and over all it was a failure of a day.
Oh, and in case that does not give you an idea, there was also several bathroom issues, which is something we deal daily with one child, but which gets worse in high stress/andziety situations. This time, both kids had at least three changes of clothes that day.
Quiet time turned into nap time. “Oh, they are tired too! Why didn’t they say something?” Let me answer that one for you, “because sleep is another (of the many) struggle and they rarely say they are ready for a nap/bedtime. You should have known instinctively.”
If you are one of those people whose kids basically behave, you probably read the above and wonder what is wrong with my kids. I would have B.C. (before kids). I would have judged, all be it quietly, and wondered what kind of parent this person was, “don’t they know how to control their kids?”
In talking with a friend of mine, she admitted that she was exactly that kind of person with her first several, quiet, compliant, fairly easy going kids. Then she adopted a high energy, sweet, “why sit still when you can run?”, “I’ll obey as long as I agree with it, then apologize as honestly as my little toddler heart allows when I get into trouble, but do it again 10 seconds later” kid. I love Olaf. 🙂 My friend admitted that it showed her how the Other Side looks and she no longer judges … usually.
We all went to bed that night, wondering “WHY?!?!?” and hoping the next day was not this way.
white oak tree
When I woke up on Thursday, it was to a boy coming into my bed at 5 a.m. and not going back to sleep, just doing circles and almost pushing me off the bed. Looking back, after having a bit of sleep, I should have just gotten up with him, but again I was stubborn, “He WILL go back to sleep.” Will I ever learn?
Once I did get up, it was a conscious decision that this day would be different, that I would nip some things in the bud and change my attitude. So, when I heard the kids running through the house yelling, before I was even out of bed, I sent one back to bed, because:
“If you can not handle being awake, then you need to go back to bed.” (He was chasing his brother around with a marker, marking up his brother’s legs.)
The other, less offending kid, was told to sit on the couch with a book till I came back. Then I got dressed, made my bed, and started breakfast. The less offending kid was made a nicer breakfast by my husband and enjoyed some breakfast time with him. The Back To Bed kid had a shake with me, though he did come out of his room dressed without me telling him. I’m pretty sure that was in an effort to get out of the consequence.
The day got moving and I decided to give them an incentive for school work, “If you get done by 9:30, we can go to a yard sale and you can bring some money ($1) to spend.” We were done at 9:33, but I showed grace. It only took that long because George decided to do 3 math lessons rather than 1 math lesson and 1 phonics lesson, both of which are done independently. Glad he got into the math, but I was wondering what was taking him so long and was questioning if having him do a whole lesson was too much. Seems not. 🙂
Since things were going so well, I texted a friend, inviting her and her kid to join us. Turns out they were having a day like my Wednesday. Nothing like a change of scenery, friends and some fresh air to change things, so she agreed.
My kids did not know I had invited our friends over, so it was a complete surprise at the end of the lessons for me to open the front door and invite our friends (who were waiting on the porch) to come in. We went to a garage sale, looked for a few more in the town over, watched a cartoon/visited, ate lunch and headed to the park. All the kids cried when they learned they had to say goodbye. Turns out they were tired from playing, and it was only 3:30 in the afternoon! This time, I knew better and agreed to some not too bad t.v. (They learned some new fact from it, so it was not all fluff.)
Jack went to sleep with minimal effort and George followed close behind. They have both slept through the night. I however, woke up at 3:30 and couldn’t fall back sleep. 🙂
Moral of the story: You are in control of how you decide to view the day; it will affect how your day goes. At times, you need to tell yourself to act as if you have energy in order to have energy. It is okay to use all the tools in your tool box, at times including the t.v./other “bad parenting” one.
So, today, what kind of day are you going to have? Not how has your day gone so far, but how are you going to choose to view your day? Personally, I am aiming for a productive day. After all, I got out of bed at 4 a.m. so there should be plenty of time to do things today. 🙂